Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
