Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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