"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
