Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
