we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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