She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
