I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
