Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
