thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
