I wish I could teleport
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
