are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
