I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
