Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
