Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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