Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Come on in and take your pants off
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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