I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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