alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
