Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
