hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
