We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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