So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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