I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
