best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
