We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
