Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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