We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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