Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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