Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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