The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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