I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just blew my weed a kiss
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
