Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
