Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Randomize
