If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
love makes seman taste better
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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