i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
