so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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