he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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