Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
