you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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