She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
