So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
