When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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