You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
