Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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