I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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