Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i want to swaddle you in tequila
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
