cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
This is the high leading the old right now
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
