Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
