I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
