We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
