you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
