i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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