I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
