I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
